How can I help someone who is

experiencing abuse?

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You can help by:

• believing her

• listening and letting her talk about her feelings

• talking with her about what she might do to plan for her safety
  and that of her children and helping her seek medical and/or police
  assistance if she or the children have been physically abused

• helping her to understand the good things about herself and her children

• learning more about partner abuse and knowing the key resources in the
  community and how to contact them

• respecting the person's confidentiality

• giving a clear message that violence is never okay or justifiable

• letting her know that she did not cause it, is not to blame for the abuse,
  nor can she change her partner's behaviour

 

Don't:

• tell her what to do, when to leave or when not to leave

• tell her to go back to the situation and try a little harder

• suggest that you talk to her partner to try and straighten things out

• tell her she should stay for the sake of the children

 

What to Look For:

• your friend is reluctant to talk about why they are sad, anxious, or depressed

• use of pills or more drinking to calm their nerves

• physical injuries or hiding injuries (eg: long sleeves in the middle of summer)

• your friend avoids contact with you, cuts your time together short, or makes up excuses at the last minute for not being able to see you

 

Your friend's first step:

Contact the Crisis Line or a Safe Shelter in her area.  We are available 24 hours a day, 365 days a year to help.

 

Take care of yourself:

Helping someone in an abusive relationship can be stressful. Never confront the abuser. Talk with a professional about your feelings and reactions to the situation. Look after your own physical and emotional well-being so you can support your friend.

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